Grocery Stores and New Knowledge
by JuneBugFlu
Summary: Xigbar is bored. So bored he tags along with Vexen to the grocery store, where they learn of a new object requested by Larxene.


Boredom. Again. Xigbar heaved a sigh and closed his eyes.

Well, eye singular, he thought bitterly. Another reason why he won't go on missions with Demyx. The number two leaned farther against the railing above the open atrium to the castle, and watched as a flustered Vexen walked across. Xigbar smirked, finally seeing someone he can pick on, and lunged down the ramps, barely stopping two steps before the academic.

"Hey dude, where ya goin?' he asked, placing an arm around Vexen's shoulder. Vexen shrugged off the arm and looked back down at the piece of paper in his hands.

"I have to go get food and stuff," he mumbled. PERFECT!  
"You look like you need a hand," said The freeshooter, plucking the list from Vexen. he stole a quick glance down, picking out only Ground beef, cheese, bread, and-

"What are these?" he pointed to the mysterious word. Vexen took a closer look, then shrugged.  
"I dunno, Larxene requested.. no demanded them," he said. The two men walked out the door, then sighed, realizing they were waisting time.

"Allow me," said Vexen, rolling up his sleeve, then felt a breeze as Xigbar had already opened a dark portal and ran through with the list.

"This is going to be very interesting," The Chilly Academic predicted, then followed through.

Upon arriving at the store, Xigbar was waiting in a scooter with a front basket.

"Look," he pointed to the cart. "I can drive!" He twisted the handle and the little scooter took off through the automatic doors, barely missing them. Vexen sighed and followed the path of distruction as Xigbar drove around, grabbing the food off the shelves as he zoomed by. Amazingly, he got everything, except Larxenes part of the list. This was going to be partcially tricky, as neither of them shopped for her before.

"Wheres the chocolate?" Vexen asked a worker. They popped the wad of gum in their mouth loudly before pointing to an Isle 10. Vexen glared at them before stalking off to the isle. Suddenly he heard frantic honking behind him, and Xigbar crashed into the back of his legs, sending him on to the scooter handle bars. He clung for dear life, and turned to the second in command.

"Xiggy, isle ten please, and in one piece," Vexen asked. Xigbar saluted him, the scooter veering left before he corrected it out and zoomed to the isle in question. He squealed around the corner, leaving black trails, and drove down the row, and snagged a back of chocolate bars off the shelves. Vexen looked at the list crumbled in his fist.

"Doritos? What are these?" he asked, showing Xigbar. Unfortunately they both forgot he only had one eye to see, which was distracted by the list and almost sent them careening into an happy couple and their manual basket of milk and cheese. The man flipped them an unfriendly finger, Vexen waved, and Xigbar left them behind, looking for the isle needed.

"I found them!" Vexen shouted from atop the handles, pointing to an isle three up on the right. He gripped again as the one driving zigged to the isle, and they finally had to come to a stop. Five shelves high, bags of 'Doritos' claimed at least three rows across, ranging from blue, to green, to red.

"Holy god, which one?" Xigbar asked, looking from left to right. Vexen gaped. "Um, the red ones? Thats the color most often associated with Larxene..." he trailed off. The two looked up from their scooter as a woman approached.

"Can I help you?" she asked tentatively.  
"We're shopping for our friend, she▓s extremely temperamental if she doesn't get the right bag," Vexen explained. The girl nodded, and grabbed, as he expected, the red bag, but the also a blue one. "Extreme Cheddar and Cooler Ranch," Xigbar read. He smiled, and put them in the basket. "Sound like something Larxene would eat. Thank you," Vexen bowed to the woman worker. "We also need these," he said, pointing to the mysterious word. The woman flushed a deep red and nodded. "They're down isle nine, small green box," she said, and Xigbar revved the small engine, and screeched away to the isle in queston.

Once there, they stared at a wall of multiple green and blue boxes, with words like Always and Kotex on them. Vexen searched much faster with both eyes, while Xigbar was slowed down. He still didn't know why he hasn't repaid Demyx for his accident yet, he thought as he spotted a box. "There! That one says Tampon!" He shouted, grabbing it. Vexen hopped back on the high-powered cart as Xigbar headed from the front line, before he giggled and zoomed toward the back of the store, and towards a wall.

"Xigbar, sir, we're going to crash!" He shouted, but before the hit, a black portal opened and they flew into darkness, and landed in the halls of Castle Oblivion. The scooter skidded to a halt at the bottom of the ramp, and Vexen forced his eyelids open.

"Was that cool or what dude?" Xigbar laughed, zooming toward the kitchen. Larxene was already there, tapping her foot with her arms across her chest. "What took you so long?" She snapped, and grabbed her chocolate and eyed the Doritos.

"We couldn't find these tampons," Xigbar said, holding on the to box. "What exactly are they?" Larxene laughed and opened the box, handing him the instructions on top. Vexen read over The number two's shoulder, then both their eyes widened and dropped the leaflet. "Wrong! So wrong! Must find way to erase this new knowledge!" Vexen screamed, Xigbar just sat on his newly aquired cart, twitching as Larxene laughed on the way back to her room. 


End file.
